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Let me start by saying what the Master states in Hebrews 13:8; “Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Sometimes, Christians like to refute scripture by stating things have changed and don’t apply today. This is one of the tricks of our adversary. I have been a victim of this false belief. Ladies, you too probably have been or even at this present time have fallen prey to the enemy.

As a believer, in the past, I fell into that trap. In fact, many years ago, I struggled with the normalcy of fornication (having sex outside of marriage) in the world and sadly in the church as well. I thought it was okay because everyone was doing it without any convictions. Today it is still the same. So much of my confusion surrounding my sexuality was a result of being influenced by the world, peer pressure that something was wrong with me if I was not having sex, as well as the pressure placed on you by men.

I was and still am a single female Christian. It was a struggle knowing God created us with an ache for intimacy only to be confined to marriage. We’ve all experienced some form of sexual struggle or distortion. None of us experience God’s perfect design for our sexuality as He originally intended. When I had sexual relationships, subconsciously I had a sense that this was wrong. I was never comfortable nor promiscuous. I wanted to know why I felt this way. It just felt wrong.

One day I spoke with my military roommate who was a believer.  She was someone I admired even though people teased her because she loved God and lived an obedient life. She stood out as a “peculiar person” spoken of in the Bible, 1 Peter 2:9. I opened up to her about how I was feeling. She shared with me, she was a virgin and would stay that way until she got married. She told me her temple/body did not belong to her to do whatever she wanted, it belonged to the LORD. Wow, what a testimony. It was one that had a major impact on my life. I knew the scripture she referred to, but this time it impacted me. (1Cor. 6:19.) It was confirmation for me as to why I felt as I did. As the Spirit wrestled within me, I did what only I could do. Well, that sent me to the Holy scriptures digging for everything I could find on sexual purity. After all, the Bible has everything we need pertaining to life; past, present, and future.

Purity is a word we don’t hear a lot anymore. It is a lost jewel. But what we need is a sexual restoration. As believers, God calls us to live pure lives. But the world gives us mixed messages about purity that don’t line up with God’s Word. God, not the world tells us how to define purity. So, I continued to research and study the scriptures, which I am sharing in this message. May it be a blessing to you as it was for me. I pray you’re seeking God’s best for your life. Don’t quench the Holy Spirit if He is nudging you. Open your heart, listen, and obey.

In Matthews 5:8, Blomberg states, “what Jesus requires of his disciples is a life-style characterized by pleasing God. The “pure in heart” exhibits a single-minded devotion to God that stems from the internal cleansing created by following Jesus. Holiness is a prerequisite for entering God’s presence. The pure in heart pass this test, so they will see God and experience intimate fellowship with him.^[1] This ministered to me about the foundation and importance of purity and holiness. I am held accountable for this command.

Psalm 24:3-4 states “ Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place?  He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.” Clean hands and pure heart mean we should not be spotted with the pollutions of the world and the flesh.

So, I then asked myself how does this apply to sexual purity? I dig deeper into the scriptures. By the way, this is what you do to seek answers and to grow in Christ. Seek and you will find, but the key is to apply it. He gave me these two scriptures: 1 Corinthians 6:18-20.  After reading this I ask, “if my body belongs to the Lord, how will it make Him feel if I am having sex with my boyfriend?” Guess what? As I continued searching the scriptures, I found the answer to this question in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5. Here it is: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in the passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God.” You notice this verse starts off stating it is the will of God, something He is commanding us to do. It is self-sacrifice. This Christian life was not meant to be easy, but the rewards of obedience are far greater than the consequences of sinful disobedience. Okay, so now I am getting this loud and clear.

Now that I have read this and comprehend it, I must obey. If the Holy Spirit is indwelling me and my temple belongs to the Lord, how can I take His Spirit and His temple into a sexually immoral act with a man who is not my husband? I can’t. There is nothing wrong with sexual relations when it is done within the guidelines Christ has defined in His Word. Let’s see what that is in the next set of scriptures.

From the beginning of Genesis 2:24, the marital relationship was established. It was between a man and a woman, husband, and wife. The institution of marriage was a divine ordinance. They were to reproduce the earth. They were joined together as one flesh. I was curious about the word “joined”. It means a permanent union so that no divorce is considered. Also, 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 states “It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.” We see God’s intentional design in making us man and woman and sexual intimacy within the context of the marriage relationship.

This was God’s purpose until the fall. All of the sexual confusion we face today is a direct result of Adam and Eve’s initial sin. Just as Eve, we’re tempted to question God’s truth on a regular basis; especially in the area of sexual relationships. You might be saying right now, “Did God really say I should reserve sex for marriage?” Or, you may say “Why would God not want me to express my sexual feelings?” The sad thing is, sexual chaos always follows the rejection of God’s Authority.

Today, the more society moves away from God, the more distorted sexuality becomes. Sexual identity is not determined by personal desires. This is the first thing I had to come to terms with on my journey to get it right. I had to view my sexual desires from a biblical perspective because the heart is deceitful. Apart from God, our hearts will not lead us to the truth.

1 Peter 2:9-11 tells us who we are in Christ. We’re a royal priesthood sacred to God. This means we offer up sacrifices to Him. Those sacrifices are our bodies, our soul, our affections, our prayers, and our praise.

Colossians 3:5 states “Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” Sex outside of marriage is called fornication. This also means our thought life and our lustful thoughts. When we do these things, we’re actually worshipping ourselves in our flesh. If we’re Christians, we cannot live this way. This behavior is how we lived before we knew God. These are high moral and spiritual standards that challenge our souls. Yet, we can’t rebel and neglect it. He calls us to subdue the passions and power of the flesh.

I sought out the scriptures and God revealed Himself to me. I only touched on a few, but they’re quite a few more. I am thankful I am set free from the bondage of sex controlling me and able to share this message. I had to filter out the wrong messages from the world and invite the Word to help me with purity. It is not absurd to be single, saved, celibate, or a virgin. It’s a rare jewel in today’s society. We need to see more of it especially within the body of Christ. It is a privilege to honor the Lord and wait on His best.

I have for many years lived a life of celibacy. The world has mocked me, told me something was wrong with me, I must be gay, wondered how I do it. I even had Christians tell me it is okay to have sex outside of marriage. NO! Any sexual activity outside of marriage is sin; so, if you’re having sex (or thinking about having sex) without being married … God wants you to stop.

Celibacy and Virgins are two words lost in today’s society. It is absurd. Yet it is rich and rewarding. Do you think there would be as many sexually transmitted diseases, abortions, children born out of wedlock, or without a commitment from the dad if we lived as God commanded? I am not judging. But, if I can help someone to cherish their body and give it over to the rightful owner, I will try; especially if it makes you choose purity over the lust of the flesh. But you know what? It is refreshing knowing that you cherish your body. God knows what is best for us, He wants the best from us. That’s why it matters that we choose purity.

Real and true love is not about what you do but about who you are. Sex before marriage is a fake love of the world. Honoring your body and saving it for the husband God has ordained for you will reap lasting rewards and benefits. Waiting on him has been a time of growing, learning who I am in Christ and how I may use my gifts to serve others. Our society often cheapens and devalues each woman’s unique sexual design, but we must value what God has created. I was struggling with lust and losing the battle. Sexual lust does not have to be sex with another person; it can be masturbation or pornography to name a few. I know many of you ladies can relate. The best thing I could have ever done was open up and talk about it with my Christian roommate. I exposed my sin to the light. This helped me break from the lies of the world and seek the truth. This Truth transformed my heart.

I want to take this time to share some general things. We’re living in a time where the church has turned from the Holy Spirit’s prompting. We look and act like the world instead of being a “peculiar people.” We’re choosing unsaved friends and turning from Christian friends because we’re more comfortable with our sin. The church is fighting one another over who is right and who is wrong. There is a lack of love, which is supposed to define a Christian. The church has allowed Satan to infiltrate and penetrate their hearts and minds. Hate, evil, pride, arrogance, and no respect has taken over humility. We’re living in dangerous times, yet comfortable and complacent. We need a full restoration, a people empowered by the Holy Spirit. It is time to stop playing, put God first, and stop letting Satan have control of our body. It requires brokeness. It is only when you have been broken that change occurs. You will see the difference and others will see it. You will have a love relationship with Christ as never before, always wanting to please Him. Your focus is no longer on your flesh and the world. It is on Christ Jesus, our LORD, and SAVIOR.

In closing, our God is alive and active in this world. He speaks to me plainly through His Word. God created each one of us to be sexual beings. He designed us this way on purpose and for a purpose. He wants to steer our affections in the right direction. From a place of love, He gives us parameters for how to embrace our sexuality in the right ways. The only way to redeem our sexuality is to turn back to the one who created us. Instead of listening to the world and our sinful hearts, let us listen to the One who understands our sexuality and has a plan for us. Let us bring back that lost Jewel to God because it is not absurd. Amen!

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^[1] Blomberg, C. (1992). Matthew (Vol. 22, p. 100). Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers.