Yesterday I entered my fourth decade of life.  I will be honest, it sort of freaked me out.  Every year that passes brings into sharper focus just how true the Word is when it describes human life as a wisp of vapor (James 4:14).  There are so many days I have let slip by practically unnoticed, and certainly unproductive.  I know that there will be many such days in the future as well. I need more time.  Now, more than ever, I need more time.  Because just now am I really starting to understand God’s will for my life.  

I spent my twenties like most modern people, chasing after the things of this world that I thought would make me happy – marriage, babies, a big fancy house, nice cars, a lucrative career, beauty, status, etc.  Sure, I enjoyed those things, but I always had a sense that something was missing.  It was around my 30th birthday that I truly began to speak to God.  I’d been raised in the faith and have known Jesus since I knew my own name.  I prayed and asked God for the things that I wanted. I just had never stopped to ask God what He wanted for me or from me.  After figuring out that all the things I wanted for myself were just not enough, I finally asked our Heavenly Father – “what did you put me on this earth to do?”  I knew instinctively He did not put me here to chase such fleeting things as riches or status; I just did not know what else there was.  

When you start truly talking with God rather than at Him, something incredible happens:  the Holy Spirit starts to slip into your heart and work it like clay.  Over the past decade, the Spirit has crushed, kneaded, and worked my heart to reform it so that it was open to hearing God’s Word in my life and to me.  I’m still a work in progress for sure.  But, I am hearing him.  I hear that still small voice calling me to a purpose that is so much bigger than me or my life – it all points to Him.  See, I have learned that God has called me to step confidently and courageously into the business of loving people.  

Something magical happens when you begin to pursue God’s purpose for your life over your own purposes – it bears fruit and it fulfills.  Before no amount of money was ever enough, my house constantly needed redecorating to keep up with the newest trends, my clothes needed updating, the number on the scale was never low enough, I was never pretty enough, my husband never treated me the way I deserved to be treated, and my children exhausted me.  Relying on my own strength and skill could only take me so far.  The Holy Spirit, however, can do supernatural things through you.  My life is far from perfect, but that does not bother me as much anymore.  I’m not pursuing perfection anymore – I’m pursuing God.  I’m pursuing God’s people.  Ladies, that is more fulfilling than anything else on this earth.  

I am receiving this new decade of life as a gift.  I am stepping into this decade with full confidence that God has something better planned for me than I could ever dream of for myself.  If you have found yourself feeling dissatisfied and empty with the things of this world or by pursuing your own ambitions and goals, I invite you to start talking with God about what He wants for you.  I promise you, He never disappoints! 

Chantelle Custodio