Life Lessons Series #4

I loved socializing with friends, taking trips, and making sure my weekends were booked with plenty of activities. I was doing everything I wanted to do, until one day it all changed. When you’re used to being independent, single, living on your own and it all comes to a squealing halt, what do you do? I remember praying to God, why is this happening, why me? I saw the signs and people were telling me, but I kept doing the things I wanted to do; keeping busy and having fun.

One morning I get a call from my mom telling me she could not walk. She was crawling on the floor. I rush to her house, called 911. Mom had surgery and went through intense rehab. During this time, she came to live with me. I was antsy because my life was changing. I could not breathe; it was like being locked into a closet. This was serious stuff. I did not want to give up my extra-curriculum activities and social life. I was too young to be shut-in, even though it was three months.

Mom healed and returned to her home. I was happy to be free again or so I thought. I knew I saw differences with my mom’s behavior while she was living with me, but I talked myself into believing that maybe it was just part of the healing process. Friends, neighbors, and family were visiting mom. Some were saying mom’s behavior appeared to be off, some confusion and forgetfulness. I was not receiving those negative responses.

But I did make routine visits to my mom’s house. I did not like what I saw. I was trying to shut out the voice in my head because I knew if I listened my life would change forever. And so, it did. After a time of denial, I gave up my home and moved into my mom’s house. This began a fourteen-year sacrifice. In the beginning, mom was okay to do regular daily activities bathe, cook, and clean the house. She was going through losing everything and forgetful stages. I was still able to get out and have a semi-social life. After all, it was all about me.

After six years, mom required a companion during the day while I worked. At this point, my life came to an end, (or so I thought). I was bitter that I had the sole responsibility of taking care of my mom. I did not want to put her into a nursing facility because she had no major illnesses. I asked God, “why”. This was a task I did not want to do. My life was 8-10 hours on my regular job, then back home to my second job. I was always complaining about the situation. I knew I was a child of God but keeping my schedule full allowed no time with God; so, God had to take control of my situation. You see, when you’re a child of God, He has put His Spirit in you. We are responsible for maintaining it. We either grieve or quench it or let Him have His way with our life.

Because I was always home, I used the time to study God’s Word. As I prayed about getting out of this situation, God clearly said “No”. He had me just where He wanted me… be still. He had things He wanted to show me and changes that needed to occur. The Holy Spirit began to work in my heart. He told me to consider the effects of my behavior; and to live a selfless, giving life with an eye on eternity. Wow, how profound. He told me to (chill) wait on Him. (Psalm 40:1-3). As I continued to walk daily with the Father, meditating on His Word and seeking Him in prayer, I grew to discern His voice. Things began to change.

In studying the book of James, one of many scripture verses ministered to me, but James 3:13 states “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom.” This spoke to my heart about mom. Wisdom and understanding are about a life of character shaped by seeking the good of others. It made me aware that I am a deeply flawed person who fails a lot. It brought me to a place of humility.  I can never be the kind of person God is calling me to be by my wisdom. I need God’s grace love and mercy to transform me. The lesson is that other people are more important than me. That is the humility that comes from wisdom. When I really believe that other people are more valuable than me, I treat them that way. Here is the lesson on demonstrating Godly wisdom: practice humility, obey God’s Word, and serve others selflessly.

I found myself rushing home from work eager to see mom and her big smile when I walked in the door. Taking care of mom was no longer a chore I did not want to do. It was a privilege. Caring for mom taught me how to love, gave me a heart of compassion, and most of all, it showed me it is not about me. I loved and provided for my mom like a parent loves a child. The amazing thing is I had a similar experience of what it’s like to be a mother since I was unable to have children. It gave me no greater joy than to spoil her, feed, bathe, sit with her, dress her up, and take her out.

Instead of making myself, my schedule, my to-do lists a priority, God moved me from self-focus to God-focus. I don’t know if you begin your day by thinking about and identifying all the things, thoughts, activities, or emotions that can consume you in planning your day. All these things can keep you from worshipping God and serving Him. We all have a desire to follow our flesh and think or do whatever feels right or seems easiest, but we must walk in the Spirit who gives us the power to overcome the flesh. I had to overcome the internal struggles with sin. Like so many of us, I was caught up in worldliness. I was giving the world the love and devotion that belonged to God and God alone. It can happen so easily you don’t realize it because you’re so busy doing things you desire because you just love the fact of being busy. It is dangerous and unhealthy.

God had to slow me down that I might listen. He taught me to discern His voice and to act on those things He shared. The outcome was overcoming the negative thinking and behavior to a life rich in rewards that matter for eternity. Learning to be content no matter what the circumstance, trusting God with your whole heart, and loving others before yourself. Slow down, chill, listen to what God is speaking to you in your current situation that you may overcome because Christ has already overcome the world.