As I sit reflect, and evaluate the last few months of my life, God opened my eyes to see things I needed to see so that I may grow. What He revealed to me encourages and prepares me for handling future trials. I was a mess. I was under pressure and stress. I wavered in my faith. Trusting, then fretting, peace then worrying. Maybe you can relate. Let me share the story of the circumstances surrounding me over the last several months.

The property I lived on was sold. I had to move soon. I thought, “Okay I can do this, I know the Father has me covered.” I begin to pack only to realize I have acquired many things. As I searched for a new home, the prices were astronomically high. It was nothing like the past. Not only were the prices high, but the square footage was small. Mind you I am coming from 1400 square feet with utilities included. With each new obstacle, I began to waver in faith, questioning God. My emotions begin to control my trust in the Father. I continue to pray and seek God. He is clearly speaking to me to be still and know He is His God. Okay, I tell myself to calm down.

In searching for apartments, I had input from family and friends. I had too many voices in my ears. They were sharing their opinions and choosing places for me to live. Everyone meant well and I respect that, but, the only voice I needed to hear was God. I was drowning in emotions, thereby drowning out His voice. It seemed as though everywhere I looked was a problem. Either the price was too high or the space was too small. I tried to chill for a bit, but time was of the essence. Rather than “be still and know that He is God, I tried to take charge. I then found and got approved for an apartment only to find out it was recovering from an asbestos issue, with bug problems. What appeared to be a great building on the outside had many flaws on the inside. We can apply this to many of our lives. The outside appearance can often be so far from our inner man. Once again I begin to waver, not trusting that God had a plan for me and this was not what He chose for me. So it’s back to the drawing board for me.

I finally found the perfect apartment, a good location, and a perfect environment. I waited for approval. When I did not hear back I went to the leasing office. I was told I was approved, but they did not hear from me so they rented the apartment to another person. I was told they called me, (not so). At this point, I am distraught, in tears again. I was stressed out to the max and so were my closest friends because they had to deal with my emotions being all over the place. I took them through this drama. I was disappointed in myself for how I was handling this trial. instead of completely trusting Him, my focus was on the circumstances and not on my LORD. I asked God to forgive me, for this was a test I outright flunked. We often think we have a strong faith walk and trust in God until He tests us. I had to stop, fast, and pray to lay this down. Well, He did bless me with the place He had already chosen for me. It was there all the time, but He had some work to do in me. I have the best home I could imagine.

This is my story, but I must share the lessons learned, and pray I handle the next trial with calm in the Spirit and let God do what He does best. The pressure of finding a new home with time limits created my own chaos by simply not believing He would provide. Instead of focusing my attention all on Him, I presented an unnecessary roller coaster ride. When God brings you to a place of waiting do it. When you wait on His timing, He will do it without heartache and disappointment. But never act on the impulse of your feelings. If you do, you will cause difficult situations to arise. If there is doubt, wait. Has not God continually brought you through each storm? Why is it we don’t act like it or remember it?

Being patient and waiting on God is being strong and able to withstand the tests and trials you go through. The moment you take your focus off God, you allow the enemy to take you down. Nothing else matters more than to keep my vision clear, which is looking at Jesus. “By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible.” Hebrew 11:27 God wants us to trust Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall ^[a]direct your paths.” My part is to trust and obey. The fulfillment of the promise is predicated on my obedience to the Lord and trusting Him with all my heart. That means total commitment with all my heart. At times I was trying to depend on my understanding. Big mistake and dangerous. He does not want me to depend on my wisdom or the wisdom of others. Jesus always put God first in trusting and obeying.

 

 

 

Sybil Clanton